I had every intention of unpacking the jewellery making process and explaining the behind the scenes, the how to get from point A to B. Then I got in my car and geographically went from point A to B instead.
I’m currently sitting staring at a fire, some good tunes floating into the warm Cederberg air. A day of slow living and conscious connecting. My type of reality. I needed this reminder, to be reminded of why I do what I do.
When I started out as a full time creative I did it so that I could be a good steward of my time. We have little of it and early on I knew that I wanted to spend mine in precious places for work and other pass times.
Opening a public studio in the believe it or not busy sea side village of Scarborough has thrown my equilibrium a little and cultivating a wholesome balance of when to do what has had it’s fair share of challenging emotions. I have really lived a free life and plan on doing so for a long time but dare I say it out loud that commitment and freedom are an interesting concoction to navigate.
Can they co-exist?
I take commitment seriously but sometimes so seriously that I forget that I am free. I forget to geographically move myself to another location to get out of my head and the small world we call our own realities. Perspective comes when we take a step back from a place you are close with, a situation, a person. It makes space for feelings that we stint to loosen up, dislodge the bracing survival state you are in and replace it with a natural flow of being.
Sometimes paying rent, nourishing myself, putting money away, planning for a future takes its toll and I forget to take a step back to go spend time in the ocean or the mountains. Time away from what I am so up close and personally entwined with, my survival, my career, the survival of my career.
Out here in the wilderness being comes easy. And I needed to feel what it feels like to breathe easy. Long days spent walking, talking, rhythmically in tune with the rising sun, the textures of the land, the flow of the rivers, the sound of the earth and her heart beat and breath. Living out here comes easy.
I haven’t taken much time out for my own adventures this year, I’ve been too busy making sure I keep head above water. So after a year of really sticking it to the man and stepping up to be seen and known and holding space for all of it, tired and a little off balance I took the drive to go be with the mountains for only just a day or two.
My heart beats happiness tonight.
Stefni
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