I’ve had some really big emotions of late. Emotions that even me at almost forty am struggling to navigate through. I wonder what it looks like to be great at channeling emotions and putting them where they belong or also feel safe and at home.
I fall short of expanding to meet my big emotions. They sometimes travel so far outside of my actual being that I don’t know how to coax them home. But then again, maybe best to let them roam and return on their own terms.
A blistering South Easter whips at my windows. The trees have made peace with a horizontal existence. How the birds survive the Cape of Storms is a miracle in itself. Imagine your life, at the mercy of the wind. Actually imagine your life, at the mercy of uncontrollable forces. Welcome to life the bird chirps.
I went through the day scratchy and irritable. It wasn’t until I got home and made a cup of tea that I reflected and recollected on all the things I did get done today. Why is a to-do list the measuring stick of success? I fill the kettle with more water for a second cup of tea. I listen for a moment as the wind rattles though the house. The kettle whistles. I need to go outside.
Tea in hand I walk, straight into the wind. I stop and turn to allow the wind to blow through me. To surrender into chaos and let things just be the way they are instead of the way I want them to be. You can’t fight the wind and when you hide from it fear settles in every fold. So, let it swirl around you, let it mess up your hair, let it pull you in every direction so that it can change you, shape you and blow away what you no longer need. To leave you with what is left. Start there.
Start again.
Stefni
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