Category: Journal

I feel lost when I can’t create. As if unshackled from an anchor and I am adrift at sea or about to float into the air without compass or direction. I get easily swept up in mindless wandering, purposeless time passing for hours on end. I’ve judged this restlessness to want to or even need…

You know how some adventures go down, not according to plan and you get home understanding that you’ll have to go back to that place some day and finish what you started? Well, the Tankwa Karoo National Park is one such place for me. Two years ago I ventured to the Tankwa, solo, for four…

Sherbert. That’s usually all I can get out when the world, life and all things surrounding me seem a bit much. It’s been a bit of a sherberty few weeks really. I just resurfaced from an extensive stint in the valley of depression. Sherbert. What happens in the valley you ask? Well, a mix of…

Long runs are brutal and I’m a rookie at it. It’s not entirely true. I hate that ones life is often the sum of what people can see. We are so much more than the current season we are in. We have a past and it counts. People seldom ask though, which means they don’t…

It’s the day before my birthday. The world has been all sorts of crazy of late and yet my life has simplified ten fold and I am in what feels like the smoothest rhythm of life I have ever experienced. I don’t think it’s rained properly since the fires started in December and the wind…

Today was a great day. Each day a privilege, of course. But today was one of those days that just stood out. When I opened the studio in August, the transition from a quiet home working schedule to a full on anyone at anytime kind of schedule was definitely a shock to the system. Over…

Over the years I have come to know my mind as a sneaky character, not always so willing to make the best decisions for my future self. Before I know it, I’m hurtling down the rabbit hole, hiding from the world. Yesterday in therapy we went into depth about the beliefs that rule my life,…

New year, same me only with a few more softened edges. Quick recap… Quit a four year salary paying job. Went into 2023 as a full time creative. Made use of my freedom by going home more often, traveling frequently and always taking the long way anywhere. Decided I was worth more and ended a…

I’ve had some really big emotions of late. Emotions that even me at almost forty am struggling to navigate through. I wonder what it looks like to be great at channeling emotions and putting them where they belong or also feel safe and at home. I fall short of expanding to meet my big emotions.…

Let’s get down to business. By this time of the commission I feel a little like the Bushman that have been trekking an Eland for days. The final strategy is in place, it’s now just having the mental strength and capacity to execute the kill. A few weeks have gone by with the first meeting…