Some times in life we lose our way. Not on purpose, not even consciously…we just do.
I’ve lost my way a little. Especially on the career side of life. No need to panic, but ponder.
I used to dream of changing the world, making a difference and everything I did, said, got involved in was for that one purpose. Giving up wasn’t a part of my vocabulary, no matter what the world threw at me. All kids will experience love and have people that care for them; all people will have the chance of an education; grace, mercy and compassion will be shown by all.
I started out with dreams involving art, design and activism. I wanted to be a travelling jeweller and artist, create anything, anywhere, with any medium. Collaborate, share, inspire. I started off as a jeweller with a vision, a calling, a purpose, a voice. Today I feel like a fish in the desert - out of sorts and a little absent.
I have no illusion as to having to earn a living, but focusing all of one’s existence in order to pay the bill can be disheartening and soul destroying at the best of times. Money can be a mode of freedom, but making jewellery just so that it will sell is mere suicide. And this is where I find myself on the highway instead of the single track in the forest, in the city instead of at the edge of a mountain overlooking the ocean. I want to return to a place where I design for the mere joy of it.
I have to let go of the person that measures herself against others in order to gage her own success and let myself in again. The girl who loves for the sake of loving. The girl who does not know fear. The girl who believes in herself and couldn’t care less if anyone else does.